Crushing stress

[WotAnAtti2d]

Hey all,

I was wondering if anyone has had any success with taking kratom at work, while having to use your brain. I know there are some IT people here, so you know how important it is to have your brain on straight. Most of you know me, so I'm not looking for pity or anything like that. Five months ago, my sister passed away, five weeks ago my cousin's husband died (he was a super guy), two weeks ago this stupid young bitch at work who has done nothing but drive one of my projects straight into the ground decided that if she went to Legal and filed "inappropriate conduct" on me, she could save her job by eliminating mine, and as the final kicker, on Wednesday, my aunt died. The next stress shot is a three-hour drive to the funeral with my mom in the car. Wish me luck!

My stomach is eating itself. My brain isn't firing on all eight cylinders. If I don't get control of all of this crap soon, I'm going to completely lose my mind next. I've tried some red/white blends, but I have either gotten that logy feeling from the red or that major zingy feeling from a white. I'd love to find that comfortable middle. I know we're all different, but I figure there are a lot of great people here that have tried many strains/blends. I'm hoping that one of you could throw some ideas my way. Hell's bells, I'd even make powder tea again, lol. Or, if you have something you'd like to trade for some great crushed leaf, I'm sure we could work something out.

Mods, I hope this content is okay. If not, just pull it down, please. I hate posting about my personal life, but it's getting to the point of, "Screw it, what the hell."

P.S. I've never even physically met the girl from work. She works at a site 500 miles away, she has verbal accusations with no proof, and yet Legal has decided to investigate me. I heard she even whipped up some tears when she made the complaint. She asked me to send her some sponge candy that I make for the holidays, then turned around and said that I was stalking her, and she can't concentrate. I have the IM's where she asked me for it and she sent me her work address. I sent those to Legal, yet the investigation continues.... I think about it constantly and wonder how the hell someone can be like this. Anyone ever go through this garbage? Thank you all for whatever ideas/comments you can offer.

~Wot

[herbalhippie]

I use kratom at work every day, but I only use about half of my brain, so.

Mostly, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for all your troubles and stress.

[livi2fly]

I would go with a green, reds usually make me sleepy at work. Green Maeng Da is usually a winner for everyone. Kratom won't take care of your problems but it will help you handle them yourself. Good luck!

[herbalhippie]

Mystic Island's Green Vietnam is quite calming without being sedating. RVA's Royal Bent is calming too and I often add a touch of it to other strains for that reason.

[WotAnAtti2d]

I would go with a green, reds usually make me sleepy at work. Green Maeng Da is usually a winner for everyone. Kratom won't take care of your problems but it will help you handle them yourself. Good luck!

Oops, I should have mentioned that I have leg pain and I usually take my pain meds because I know how I react to them, for the most part. I just don't like keeping them in my desk, especially now. I can make a big jug o' tea, keep it in the frig, and no one would know any different... hey, it's tea, right? I don't need more crap like, why do you take pain meds? At this point, I'm about ready to tell work to piss off, see ya, keep her around, and you all deserve each other... jerks.

HH, thanks for your kind words. My buddy thinks I was born under a bad sign. I think on my day of birth, all the planets lined up, and there was a black sun, lol.

Is Royal Bent a red?

[BallzDeep9]

Anyone ever go through this garbage?

OK I'll take a shot at it .. having hit 60 and retired, maybe my Old Man perspective is different than most here. It's a different world around the workplace now. I grew up in a different atmosphere. People were a lot more loose back in the 90's.. I don't wanna go into a big observation about sociology, culture and the Me Too movement.

In the Age of Trump, you had better look out for #1. Take whatever you can get, by any legal means necessary. Plan ahead, set goals, be true to yourself, all that is still as relevant today as it was 30 years ago .. But with changing values, more than ever we're all self employed it seems .. Don't ever get comfortable, in any position .. Stay a step ahead of changes that are gonna happen. Keep your Resume up to date!

Is that more stressful, to be always on edge, never secure in any job ? Of course it is.. Hey at least you're employed and have skills. I assume you're still at the age where those skills have value in the job market. I've got a CS degree, worked in a few IT positions, but every few years something happened .. I worked for 3 different companies that went out of business due to market conditions or technological changes. I got stressed out and developed Major Depression as a result.

So we don't know you personally to give advice about your situation - I would only suggest, try to anticipate and avoid problems. IF the situation at work becomes a ongoing battle, and continues to worsen .. You're going to deal with a change. Here it comes. Always best to stay ahead of the curve, if possible!! Good luck.

[herbalhippie]

HH, thanks for your kind words. My buddy thinks I was born under a bad sign. I think on my day of birth, all the planets lined up, and there was a black sun, lol.

Is Royal Bent a red?

Mmm, I think it might be. But I don't find it too sedating at all. It is good for pain too.

[WotAnAtti2d]

Ballz,

Yeah, 51 here myself. I see a lot of, "younger people", entering the workforce now. Their ideals and morals are far different from how I was brought up. Honestly, after this crap started, I don't even say "good morning" to any female that I cross paths with at work now. My manager is female and she told me that she sees clear through what this "woman" is up to. She claims that she will not get me fired because my manager and a couple of "higher ups" are going to bat for me. I told her that I'll believe it when the inquisition ends. It just pisses me off because all she had to do was say, "he's acting inappropriately towards me" and here I am in the hot seat. Both of the guys from Legal that double-teamed me in my "interview" were jerks. They were acting like I was taking up their valuable time. No matter what I said to contradict her lies, I didn't feel once that they believed me.

I have like one more year of "marketability" left. Thankfully, I don't look like my age... never married and no kids that I know of, lol. If I quit now, I'll look as if I'm guilty. If I hang in there and they find me guilty, my career is screwed. I just can't believe that I'm being put in this position by a 23 y/o lazy, conniving "woman". I normally don't think like this, but when her time comes, I sure hope she burns in hell. She knows about the deaths in my family and well obviously, just doesn't care. My manager told me, "don't let this affect who you are". Yeah right, who I am got me into this shit.

I would never have thought that you were 60. That's a compliment. I envy you, I'd love to retire, but I'll probably be working until I die, most likely pending on how this situation turns out. You know how all of the investment firms say that when you start saving young and by the time you retire 40 years later, you'll have a million dollars? They're big stinkin' liars, lol.

[l5s1bgon]

Hey wot,

Just a quick note to say I hear and feel your stress and WOW you are def going through an unusually rough patch, no doubt. I understand your question in the first sentence of your post in this thread. I would advise you to stick with the rules and relationship you have had with the leaf since the early days. That's the best way to keep it an effective tool long term, and not have it start to "steer the ship". Sorry for the rough days, best wishes.

[MetalMamaRocks]

Wot, I'm so sorry you're going through such a hard time. Sometimes life sucks balls (no offense Ballz). A few years ago my father was diagnosed with cancer and given 6 months to live. I was devastated. In the meantime this bitch at work was going behind my back and trying to get me fired. I was blindsided in a meeting with managers one day when it was brought up what she was doing. I'm a quality tech and she was in customer services so my job had nothing to do with hers. She just wanted to destroy me for some reason at my most vulnerable time in life.

As far as taking kratom at work, I take a blend of red and white but keep my doses small. It helps with pain but I can't really feel it otherwise.

[HappyHulu]

Hey Wot, wouldn't Krabot's GMD (crushed leaf) be good for work? Also, I have a bunch of crushed leaf Green Malay from Taunton Bay (2017), great stuff. I know you don't care for GM, but you could certainly blend it with a red... IDK, it might work. I could send you some to try. If interested, well, you know how to get in touch with me. Stay stong...

[WotAnAtti2d]

Wot, I'm so sorry you're going through such a hard time. Sometimes life sucks balls (no offense Ballz). A few years ago my father was diagnosed with cancer and given 6 months to live. I was devastated. In the meantime this bitch at work was going behind my back and trying to get me fired. I was blindsided in a meeting with managers one day when it was brought up what she was doing. I'm a quality tech and she was in customer services so my job had nothing to do with hers. She just wanted to destroy me for some reason at my most vulnerable time in life.

As far as taking kratom at work, I take a blend of red and white but keep my doses small. It helps with pain but I can't really feel it otherwise.

Yes, that's pretty much on par with what's going on with me now. This bitch knows that my sister just passed away, but could obviously care less. She's lazy, and instead of putting forth the effort to actually work, she's trying to sink my career that's been over a course of around 25 years, to save her job that she's had for 10 months. Everyone tells me to "just stop thinking about it". I can't, it's my career, and I can't wrap my head around how someone can be like that. Were you able to get out of your situation with a good outcome?

Thank you all for your well wishes and kind words!

[BlendsAreMyFriends]

Does anyone else know about her work performance? If so ask them to help by documenting her lack of "work ethic".

If you haven't already been doing so, if you start documenting it now it could look like retaliation. But it should be brought to the attention of others, especially in the chain of command above both of you. Start keeping log of any interaction between the two of you so if she says something later you have a record of what actually happened written down when it was fresh in your mind.

Also if you've been with the organization for a while you can try to line up some character references. People who can vouch that such actions from you would be totally out of character.

I don't "work" now but I do help out with my wife's work when she needs it and find that a nice green/white blend gets me to a place where I can focus and concentrate better and can multitask better. If I take too large a dose however, I almost feel like a took a small (5-10 mg) of Adderall. I tremble a little trying to work on small items that require manual dexterity. Nothing big but I notice it in myself more than others might. I asked my wife one day when we were putting something that required using a screwdriver and she hadn't noticed until I mentioned it and then she saw it but with arthritis I sometimes have the tremble without the kratom.

It also helps to do small doses and spread them out since the effects are relatively short lived so 5 grams or so every 3-4 hours rather than 12 grams all at once.

Hope this helps and sorry to hear about your family issues. Protect yourself as best you are able.

[Devil_Dog21]

I work in the tech industry with one of the BIG companies...Ballz has it right with his advice, it's a different work place than it was 20 yrs ago for sure. As far as Kratom at work, I don't do it, I need to be sharp and on my game. I've tried different strains (white, green, red) and all of them put me in a state of mind that I'm not at my best. But as everyone knows it effects different people differently.

-DD

[WotAnAtti2d]

Does anyone else know about her work performance? If so ask them to help by documenting her lack of "work ethic".

If you haven't already been doing so, if you start documenting it now it could look like retaliation. But it should be brought to the attention of others, especially in the chain of command above both of you. Start keeping log of any interaction between the two of you so if she says something later you have a record of what actually happened written down when it was fresh in your mind.

Also if you've been with the organization for a while you can try to line up some character references. People who can vouch that such actions from you would be totally out of character.

I told Legal that she plagiarized my work twice in the past and I had mentioned it to my division manager. At one time, my manager told me to tell her to do her own work. I told my manager, that should be her job to do that and of course, she wouldn't. So, the only recourse that I had to stop doing her work for her, was to tell her, in my manager's stead. That's when she started becoming more nasty. She stopped turning in work, according to a couple of managers, and I said, "Sure, she doesn't have any more work to turn in, because I stopped sharing my data with her." I told Legal that this is her retaliation for me not allowing her to view my work/turn it in as her own. Legal said that isn't their concern. That's when I started brushing up my resume. It's supposed to be a "fair" process, but after my interview with Legal, it didn't feel very fair (towards me) at all.

I work in the tech industry with one of the BIG companies...Ballz has it right with his advice, it's a different work place than it was 20 yrs ago for sure. As far as Kratom at work, I don't do it, I need to be sharp and on my game. I've tried different strains (white, green, red) and all of them put me in a state of mind that I'm not at my best. But as everyone knows it effects different people differently.

-DD

DD, this is exactly how I feel. When I was a noobie, I made the biggest mistake and did red Bali at work. It made me so logy. The CIO's right-hand man pulled me into a division-wide call and I had to answer quite a few questions. By the time the call ended, I was completely drained, and terrified of taking any more kratom at work.

[DirtyRadish]

Wot, I am sincerely sorry for your losses and the supreme bullshit you are going through. All the advice so far seems pretty legit, document any interactions moving forward with anyone/everyone involved with any aspect. Keep that shit safe too. I honestly hope your manager will step up for you. You don’t deserve this. Legal doesnt give a Fuck about anything besides covering their ass from a lawsuit.

I dose Italian flag full spectrum green white red. I keep it small small while at work. I feel the same - not at my sharpest - if I take normal day off dose. Hey I don’t know if anything I said can be helpful but just know there are people pulling for yah here. Keep your head up and stay strong...you are a good person!

[MetalMamaRocks]

Were you able to get out of your situation with a good outcome?

My manager took up for me and pretty much let her manager know that I was 10 times smarter and a helluva better worker than this other woman. It taught me a good lesson - to ALWAYS watch my back and be very careful who I trust. To this day (15 years later) I'm only close to a few people I work with.

I think if you haven't done anything wrong and just stay away from your accuser you should be okay. I know it's a scary time for men in this Me Too age.