T'was the night before Kratom, and all through the house,
Every creature was waiting, even the mouse,
The tracking numbers were all hung by the computer with care,
With hopes that the postal service would soon be there;
The kids were in bed, dreaming of Santa,
I was at the window, waiting for Maeng Da,
The wife in her robe, and I in my tie dye,
Wondering why is it taking so long, oh why, oh why;
When out on the road, I could hear such a noise,
I tripped over the dog, almost waking the boys,
Over to the window, I ran like hell,
I threw back the drapes and looked quite well;
The streetlight on the mound of newly shoveled snow,
Reflected the headlights of the truck I know,
When, what to my squinted eyes, did I see,
But the postal truck, and I was jumping with glee;
With a little old driver, so old and so slow,
Use that gas pedal, go, go, go!
Slower than molasses through a swamp,
He moved at more of a crawl, than that of a romp;
He was whistling, "Santa Baby", by Eartha Kitt,
I was thinking I'm never going to get my hands on it,
To the curb, to the end of the walk,
He's bringing the Kratom, tonight is going to rock!
As the tortoise rushes to speed ahead,
I thought by the time he got to the door, I would soon be dead,
Out of the truck, his mailbag in tow,
He almost dropped my package, oh no!
I said a small prayer, not to let my kratom go to waste,
I like it as dry powder, not as paste,
As I picked up my head, he was finally walking,
I think the wife said something, is she still talking?
He was bundled in a coat from what I could see,
Bring my kratom, bring it to me!
A bag full of orders, he had on his shoulder,
This was taking too long, I was getting bolder;
He looked like a lawn gnome, just standing still,
His feet so slow, this was no thrill,
Now, he's halfway down the walk,
I can't think, I can't talk;
Moving so slow, like a check in the mail,
I'm starting to moan, starting to wail,
He was looking in his bag, to find something else I guess,
It was my other package, yes, yes, yes!
Slowly, as he was taking the last package out of his bag,
Even the dog is excited, his tail starting to wag,
Mmmm, I can smell it now, almost like tea,
Bring it here! Bring it to me!
He was small and slow, as I opened the door,
He was almost on the porch, a few feet more,
So excited, I don't even recall,
Grabbing my kratom, making him fall;
I rushed back inside, the wife shaking her head,
Look at the green, look at the red!
Leave it there, don't touch my mail,
Where's my scoop? Where's my scale?
The moral is to those who wait, good things come,
Even if you mow down the mailman to get your kratom,
Enjoy your red, your green, your yellow, and your white,
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
Contact: doublemherbals [at] gmail.com
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